I’d like to thank all who
sponsored this 'End of Summer Spanks Blog Hop' and (of course) everyone who stopped by! It was a blast to write the story ... and even more fun to respond to your comments! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! The winners of the grand prizes are as follows:
- Kindle or Nook from Blushing Books- Kristin Brio!
- $25 Gift Certificate to Amazon from Stormy Night Publications - Megan Michaels!
- $25 Gift Certificate to Amazon from Baronet Press - Sarah Young!
- One month membership to Pandora Blake’s Dreams of Spanking - Adaline Raine!
- Hand made paddle from Blondie’s Place - Jule Kijek!
- $25 Gift Certificate to Amazon from Wizards in Publishing - Alice Gottschall!
- You can have it all package by Variant Books - Jolynn Raymond!
- Six month membership to Discipline & Desire - Leigh Smith!
- $25 GC from Jolynn Raymond - Holla Dean!
- An ebook package from LearningDD - Cat Trouble!
- Ebook Cover Design & Matching Facebook Cover Picture from Kandes Pixels - Roz in His Hands!
And the winner of my prize - a $25 Gift Card to Amazon - goes to: Kyra Tinker!
Again - thanks to all who sponsored and all who hopped from blog to blog for some fun reads!
Just in case you didn't have the chance to stop by this weekend and want to read my story ... I thought I'd keep it alive for another day! ~ shelly
******
My co-writer, Doug, and his wife, Joanne,
agreed to spend a summer birthday weekend with me and my husband, Mike, at the
Omni Bedford Springs Resort in Bedford, Pennsylvania. None of us stayed there before, but the
reports were glowing from our friends that did.
The only advice we received was to reserve rooms next to each other that
would enable us to share an old-fashioned porch with rocking chairs. Honestly, my parents turned their nose up at
our vacation choice, suggesting that only ‘old’ people would want to stay there. But we were excited to go … the guys immediately
signed up to play golf and Joanne and I reserved a private guided tour for a
hike around the historical grounds to learn about their famous ‘mineral
springs’. We also planned on bringing enough
vodka and wine to last for a week!
Both days were perfect in almost every
way. The food was spectacular in all
three restaurants we dined in, our golfers were happy with the challenging course,
the grounds were a tad adventurous for someone who had never gone hiking (yes,
you can stop laughing now - I did hike for three hours and took a spill at the
end requiring me to sign a release that I wouldn’t sue the resort), and the
hours of lazy porch time we spent relaxing on the rocking chairs was
priceless. Did I say almost perfect? Stay with me …
If you’ve never heard of the Bedford
Springs Resort, I’ll briefly try to sum up the atmosphere. The hotel started with buildings in
the early 1800’s and was remodeled in the 1950’s, closed in the 1980’s due to a
flash flood, was restored in 1998 and then it was finally purchased by the Omni
Hotels to be totally renovated in 2009. Although
the upscale renovations continue, and the accommodations are beautiful, they still
try to keep the ‘old-time charm’ alive.
From everything I’d heard, it sounded like such a rustic and quaint
setting, and I couldn’t wait to have a cocktail on our ‘shared porch’ relaxing
with my husband and good friends … or so I thought. Hence the title of this story, as I submit the
following recipe for disaster:
· * Start
with the personality of my friend, Doug, who loves to cause trouble
· * Slowly mix in his wife, Joanne, ‘a classic
pot-stirrer’
· *
Carefully
add my husband, Mike, who pours a strong drink
· *
Steep
on a porch during a warm summer night for about fifteen minutes
·
*Garnish
with my big mouth that never seems to close
It was late in the afternoon on
Saturday. We all showered after coming
back from the pool and decided to meet on the porch in our robes for cocktails. My first mistake was asking Mike to pour me a
glass of Ketel One on the rocks with the juice of a small cranberry.
Doug and I were the first ones outside
and started gabbing about different characters we’d cooked up and possible
future book ideas. We generally try to
meet once a month at Panera, but this seemed like a good opportunity for us to
chat. So, there we were in our robes, rocking
on the porch casually exchanging ideas with a drink in our hands, when the
subject of sleeping came up … or lack of sleep. Doug has insomnia and was trying to wean
himself off of the sleep-aid he was taking.
I feel bad for people who can’t sleep (I don’t always sleep like a rock) and decided to make a suggestion. For those of you keeping track, my second
mistake is on its way...
The heroine in our book, “The Author”,
had a remedy for putting herself to sleep and I suggested that Doug do the
same. Naturally, that was when he baited
me and asked if I was personally familiar
with her particular ‘type of remedy’.
Draining the remainder of what was a triple shot of vodka in the glass,
I made my third and final mistake …
I
admitted to the act of ‘self-pleasuring’ in the middle of the night once in a
while to put myself back to sleep.
WAS I DROPPED ON MY HEAD AS A BABY?
In seconds, Joanne stepped out onto the
porch gasping noisily and with such ‘tongue-clucking animation’ that Mike came running
out of our room to see what all the commotion was about. With a sparkle in his eye and enough drama to
win him an Oscar, our good friend, Doug, retold the entire story - carefully enunciating
every word …
“She does what?” Mike’s jaw unhinged as his
face contorted with horror.
I saw no reason to look anyone in the
eye.
“Her fingers are doing some walking when
she can’t sleep,” Doug answered proudly as though he had just extracted information
from an international spy.
“Jesus.
We sleep in the same bed. When is
this going on, Shell?” Dark blue eyes
stared at me in disbelief, and I knew a clenched jaw was not far behind.
“Obviously, this party is in full-swing
while you’re sleeping. It would never
happen in my house,” Doug responded as he crossed his arms to mirror Joanne’s. The two of them looked happier than a tornado
in a trailer park.
“That’s because you don’t sleep,” I retorted while flipping him
the bird.
“This would not be a good time for an attitude, Shell.” Mike closed his eyes and pinched the bridge
of his nose. A storm was definitely
brewing and it suddenly occurred to me that there was no cellar to hide in. We were on a second floor balcony in Bedford,
PA.
“Oh my God, I fell on the trails today,
doesn’t anyone care?”
“She slipped on gravel coming into the
parking lot. I’m sure the staff has been
laughing about it all day,” Joanne advised Mike with a major eye-roll.
“Were you injured?” Mike asked softly as
he tilted his head.
“Not really,” I said narrowing my eyes at
Judas and his wife.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day
… please excuse us.” Mike politely held up one hand as he gently led me into
our room with his other.
“You’re going to spank me now?
ARE YOU INSANE?” I exclaimed putting my hands on my hips standing in
front of the large four poster king-size bed.
“This is a one hundred and twenty million
dollar renovation with paper-thin walls,” Doug reminded Mike from the porch.
“I’m sure Shelly will be paying much more
attention to structure details the next time we travel together.” Mike shook his head slowly as he closed both
the screen and outside door to our room.
******
I just stopped by to see if there was a release date on your new book yet. Had a blast reading about your adventure though. I can't wait for The Author's Friends
ReplyDeleteThanks for your books.
Kyratinker36@gmail.com
You just made my day, Kyra!! So glad you stopped by ... and wish I had more news about 'The Author's Friends'! I promise to post updates right here ... so please come back to check!! Hopefully, it will be published soon! ;) Thanks for the wonderful compliment and glad you enjoyed my little adventure!!! :)
DeleteThat was a lovely story! My email is kristinelyon@live.com! Thank you for participating!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for coming by to read and comment, Kristin! I'm really glad you enjoyed my story ... it was fun to write! :)
DeleteInteresting story! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletedark.gypsy.princess@gmail.com
I really appreciate you stopping by to see me today! Glad you enjoyed my little summer story! :)
DeleteMy comment had better have been posted... Can't see it now :p
ReplyDeleteGrrr. What I said was I could just feel the humiliation coming off her in waves. This line was fantastic: I saw no reason to look anyone in the eye. She's just dropped herself in it in spectacular fashion :) and in front of guests no less. Loved it. When's release date? - Christina m -
ReplyDeleteSometimes these blogs are hard to work with ... but the good news ... is that we get to communicate with each other!! Thanks so much for reading and commenting ... so excited that you liked my story! No release date yet ... but we'll keep you posted, so check back! Thanks again for stopping by! :)
DeleteGreat story. I love these hops. Great stories and excellent prizes. laurellasky@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you enjoyed my story ... and really happy that you came by to visit! I agree ... these hops are so much fun!! :) Thanks, Laurel!! :)
DeleteThat story was great! Hilarity ensued. So, wait, was it true? Seriously, though, these sound like great friends that you can have a lot of fun with and be completely yourself. corinnealexander4@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you enjoyed the story, Corinne! And yes, it was a TRUE story ... which made it even more fun to write! We are really good friends and have been for a long time! I agree - it's so nice when you can just relax and be yourself! :)
DeleteI couldn't help laughing out loud. Like Corinne, I want to know if it's true. It would be great to have friend you can be so open with.
ReplyDeleteholladean@gmail.com
Yes, Holla, I'm almost embarrassed to admit that this was a TRUE story! The last time Doug and I met for coffee, I told him about this blog hop and asked what he thought I should write about. He raised his eyebrows and said, "Our trip to Bedford, of course". I looked at him like he was out of his mind! Why would I want to share a story like that? But when he said he was really looking forward to reading it ... I took the challenge. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Yes, it sure is nice to have friends we can be ourselves with!
DeleteGreat story :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Stevie!! I'm so glad you enjoyed my little story! :)
DeleteAlways love your humor, and the detail of the characters felt like I was there!! Great short story!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the Author's Friend!
Aww - thank you, Betty ... that's so nice of you to say! Hopefully, our book will be out soon, so please check back ... we'll keep you posted! Thanks for coming by to comment :)
DeleteI enjoyed the realness of your story:) Jordanlillyannarose@Gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for saying that, Lillyanna! I do like a true story, too!! And thanks so much for coming by to see me! :)
DeleteAw. Why is that such a crime? Are you supposed to wake him up instead so he can do it?
ReplyDeleteettastark@hotmail.com
I'm right there with you, Etta! Why should everyone be awake? LOL! Unfortunately for me, no one on the balcony that day felt the same way we do! Thanks so much for commenting ... I'm so glad you stopped by! :)
DeleteOoooh I liked your story alot. :) Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletebrattyadaline at gmail dot com
Thanks so much, Adeline! I'm glad you enjoyed ... it was so much fun to share! :)
DeleteSorry I didn't spell your name correctly, Adaline! I hate when I make that kind of typo!! :)
DeleteI loved all the details as I am a lover of grand old hotels, and the dialogue was snappy. Thanks for sharing a wonderful bitlet.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wonderful comment, Jolynn! The hotel was beautiful and the fact that it was surrounded by so much history was the icing on the cupcake! I really appreciate that you stopped by ... always great to hear from you!! :)
DeleteOh Dear!!! Can I just say,I think your friend Joanne needs some of the same!
ReplyDeleterayannajamison(at)gmail.com
I agree 100% ... and she's been needing it for as long as I've known her! I can only hope that Doug reads your comment! ;) Thanks so much for stopping by!! :)
DeleteROFLMAO
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that is an excellent reason why our spouses should never, ever meet our writing pals! We talk too plainly sometimes. It's gotta catch up once in a while.
I agree, Tara! Especially when your writing pal LOVES to get you in trouble. LOL! I wasn't laughing that day ... but it did end up being a pretty good story to tell! ;) I'm glad you enjoyed ... thanks for stopping to read! :)
DeleteI liked your story very much. Thanks for participating.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by to read and comment, Leigh! So happy you liked it!! :)
DeleteI agree with Etta, why is this a bad thing? I think my husband would be grateful I didn't wake him up! And it really is a good way to get back to sleep, better than warm milk, I say! :)
ReplyDeletecasey1mckay@gmail.com
I like the way you think, Casey! Too bad you and Etta weren't there that day to be my attorneys ... LOL! Hasn't anyone seen the episode of Seinfeld ... where they bet $100 who can go the longest without self pleasuring? I think it was called 'The Contest'!! It was one of my favorite episodes! ;) Thanks so much for coming to see me! :)
DeleteHaha I really enjoyed reading that, fun little story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeletebluemascara22 at gmail dot com
Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed my story and I really appreciate your nice comment! :)
DeleteThanks for sharing! Sometimes husbands can be so narrow-minded! :p
ReplyDelete3579ael@gmail.com
I completely agree with you! ;) Thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment! :)
DeleteI loved the excerpt, so a fun little story. I read The Author and really enjoyed the story.
ReplyDeleteKathy
Redrabbitt@aol.com
Thanks, Kathy ... that's so nice of you to say!! I'm really glad you enjoyed both the summer story and 'The Author' ... they were so much fun to write! I appreciate you stopping by to see me!! :)
DeleteGreat story. Can't wait for your next book. Thanks. rameyer.nmb@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Renee! Our next book, 'The Author's Friends', should be published soon, and we'll do our best to keep everyone posted ... so please check back! I really appreciate that you came by to read and comment! :)
DeleteCongrats Kyra!
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed! Congrats!!
DeleteThank you so very much. I am amazed, but very happy, that I won.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the congrats.
I can't wait to read The Authors Friends Shelly Douglas!
Thank you very much, Kyra! I just had your gift card sent from Amazon, and it should arrive soon!! Thanks again for participating in the hop and (of course) we are so happy and appreciative of your support! :)
Delete